#brain tired ๐ซ
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์๋ฆฌ์ ์๊ฐ #1 โ 01.22.25
์๋
! ์ค๋๋ ๋๋ฌด ํผ๊ณคํ์ด์. ๊ณ์ ๋จธ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ ๊ด์ฐฎ์์ ํ๋ณตํด์. ์์ฆ ์ ๋ ๋ํต์ด ๋ง์์ด์. ์ ์์ฌ ์ ๊ฐ ๊ด์ฐฎ๋ค๊ณ ํ์ด์. ํ์ง๋ง ์ ๋ ์ด๊ฒ์ด ์ด์ํ ๊ฒ ๊ฐ์์.
์ค๋์ ์ผํ๋ฉด์ ๋๋ฌด ์ฌ์ฌํ์ด์ ใ
ใ
. ์ ๋ ์ผ์ ๋๋ด๊ณ ์ง์ ๊ฐ์ด์. ์ฐจ์์ ํ๊ตญ์ด ํ์บ์คํธ๋ฅผ ๋ค์์ด์ (spotify์์ 'cozy storytime in korean'). ~5์์ ์ง์ ๋์ฐฉํ์ด์. ์ท์ ์
๊ณ ์คํ๋์ค์ ๊ฐ์ด์. ๋๋ฌด ์ฌ๋ฏธ์์๋๋ฐ ํ๋ค์์ด์. ๋ฐ๋ ์ ์๋์ ๋๋ฌด ์น์ ํด์. 6์ 30๋ถ์ฏค ์ง์ ๋์์์ ๋ฐฅ์ ๋จน์์ด์. ์ฌ๋์์ด๋ ์ํ๋ฅผ ๋ดค์ด์. ์ํ๋ ์ฌ๋ฏธ์์์ด์. ์ง๊ธ์ ๊ณต๋ถํ๊ณ ์ ๊ณ ์์ด๋ ์ฌ๊ณ ์์ด์. ์ค๋ ์ข์์ด์!
๋ค์์ ๋ง๋์! โก
#brain tired ๐ซ #corrections welcome im dumb#writing entries like this has really helped improve my vocabulary bc i completely forgot how to say 'get dressed' ๐ i get dressed everyday#์๋ผ์ ์๊ฐ#learning korean#korean langblr#langblr#korean language
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I will gladly ask you to elaborate!
Somno with Sub Dickie who wakes you up by humping your leg. Heโs all blushy and shy because he feels so needy, but he canโt help it when you look so pretty.
He starts apologizing but he doesnโt stop. It feels too good. Then you offer to help him, teasing him, of course. But he has to do all the work.
Ugh, edging him while heโs half awake would get you the prettiest noises because he wonโt bother hiding anything, not that he normally would.
URGRHRHRHRH I LOVE THIS SM HELLOOOOOO?????? he'd be so whiny too like omg... i'll do some fancy headcanons for this another time but for now have this โฅ๏ธ
Dick Grayson is soooo into somno and he tries to deny it soo much until one night you wake up to him grinding against your thigh in the middle of a wet dream, still deep in slumber.
you let him keep going until he wakes up, and tease him mercilessly until he admits that, yea, he's thought about fucking you in his sleep before, please don't think he's weird- only to realize that you are just as aroused as he is, and asking for him to explain his dreams in detail so you can recreate it... and yet, he can't! he's just too embarrassed, it's too dirty to share.
so, the next best option? fuck him while he's half asleep and edge him until he uses his words and tells you what he needs, except he's too needy and sleepy to even form a coherent sentence and ends up cumming all over himself way too quickly.. that's okay though, you still have all night โฅ๏ธ
#rose rambling#thirsts#ohhhh he'd be so embarrassed too...#def wants u to fuck him 'till his brain is completely fuzzy from pleasure and he can't even string together a coherent sentence#hes so pathetic#i need him carnally#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson smut#sorry if this is incoherent#i am tired myself ๐ซ
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Ugh iโve got so many thoughts right now about how gay and also lonely i am but also iโm really tired and i canโt sleep so i ALSO canโt figure out what i want to say or how to say it so pls insert sad lonely gay yearning post here for me thank you
#๐ซ ๐ซ ๐ซ #suffering#im tired >:(#AND tired of being ALONE all the timeeeeeee#and itโs dumb feeling that way when im tired cause my brain#is always just like#โโlol iโm over this๐ค๐ค we should fix it๐ค๐คโ#and itโs like well great idea babe never thought of that now pls explain:#how????????#๐ช๐ช๐ช#sheโs dumb my brain is DUMB is the explanation#canโt believe im stuck with her and her nonsense smh#esp when she SHOULD be more concerned with letting me SLEEP#what a night๐
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Does anyone have any tips to help stop yourself from comparing your artwork to others, or equating your value as an artist with likes and reblogs?
I've struggled with this for a while and it's getting old, I don't know how to just shrug it off. Any genuine advice would be nice
#its just bygging me bc i know rationally they dont matter i knoe they dont#but i still feel it in my bones that im not good enough because my work doesnt circulate on platforms#i paint for fun and then i post and i get these feelings and theyre so goddamn annoying#i know to just keep posting anyway and try to enjoy the ride but my Depression Brain is such an asshole#i wish it would be quiet#i never used to feel this way either until likes and reposts/reblogs became so integral to social media#on top of needing commissions to get by while looking for work and attending school soon#idk maybe this is just a vent and ik no one can Fix it that simply#i guess im just speaking 2 the void rn and maybe others feel the same#*bugging#and i really am so grateful just to know anyone likes it or comments on it and reading feedback really really means so much#but i feel like unless im pumping out specific fandom stuff that doesnt really happen#but the negative thoughts and feelings can b rly strong sometimes and im just tired#im sure this is a depression thing too#hoping i can get into therapy thru school but it depends on finances as everything else in this world does ๐ซ #ill keep going tho#and please if you are someone who does comment or reblog and say something about the work please do not ever stop#it means so much to me and others im positive it does#i see you and i appreciate you so so much#thank you and thank you to anyone who reads or comments some ideas
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if you say something to me authoritatively enough it becomes a command
#thinking specifically about that one time where he very firmly said sleep bc i was tired and refusing to sleep#and my brain kinda went ๐ซ ๐ตโ๐ซ#yeah#mars.txt
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english jinriki utau is coming along!! hes based on a tts so he sounds kinda harsh and choppy (so im tuning him more robotically than i usually do). im actually enjoying working on his design. which is rare! so theres a wip of that too. his name is J, hes a decommissioned aquarium tour android. and hes just a little guy. he likes going to the beach and pointing out all the animal species he can find. hes not supposed to be able to sing And his vocal system is damaged, but he hangs out with androids who can sing and hes enamored with music so he tries his best
#spooksposting#oc#my art#vocal synth#utau#J#spooks vsynth#video#its almost 6 am......... i fucked up bigtime#u know i had to use a mili song....... i rly need to play library of ruina actually its so intimidating though ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ#i love this dude#most of his memory got corrupted so he really only knows what his model was intended for but based on bits and pieces#there was a long time between his decommissioning and abt a decade before the present where he was cared for by someone#and there were definitely alterations made to some of his systems but hes unsure what#he has his own kind of grief abt not being able to remember any of that bc he knows he was happy. whatever that means for him#i dont think even he knows#but hes chillin bc hes still alive after all this time#sorry i got back into vocal synth stuff recently and immediately started worldbuilding and shit w my utaus#and ofc they ended up way more personal than most of my ocs bc they all involve my own voice or directly interacting w characters who do ๐ซ #theyre all androids or computer programs so far in-universe and im like ah! perfect for dissecting all my brain processes#oooh i get chatty when im tired#anyawy my head hurts goot bye
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Feeling
Sick-er
#i feel sick#been like two months#gone to er#gastro and ent#plus urgent care#going to give urgen care another try#if nothing maybe another visit to hospital#cross fingers they find out what i got#got worse despite meds#wants to melt into a puddle#moms coming in as vocal support#im so tired#going on reddit to search up what the hecks wrong with me#last time was sick for months and found out the type of infection i got through reddit and google ๐ ๐ญ ๐ซ ๐ฅฒ#doctors are good but its so hard to find ones that care#crossing my fingers#rant post#rambles#wants to get better#should be sleeping#but had to do some chores and now i can't#either its a messy gut or infection#still got more stuff to do but doing bit by bit#brain is mush#my insides burn#reddit knows so much like doctors just want you to be gone in 5-10 minutes and leave you wanting more#was able to get some insight with recent doctor but again not much went online i discovered that i may have a blood issue#moomin seems like a lovely show should see it one day#after doing outside stuff tomorrow going to put it on and hopefully sleep to it#i want to hard pass out kind of sleep and feel better in the morning rest
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i check my phone after spending a nice day with my family and see that someone left a comment on katc. i am, predictably, excited to see that someone took the time to leave one, and i check the email.
the message's essence: "not bad. where's the rest?"
my immediate (childish) reaction: well, now to spite you specifically, i am never updating again.
#i'm just ๐ซ ๐ซ ๐ซ #i haven't updated katc since january. trust me. I KNOW.#but your comment? does nothing to help motivate me#i am writing for free and i have a whole 40 hour workweek and life + responsibilities outside of the internet#the answer to your question: it's in my brain and no i don't know when the rest will come out#i have to live with that and so do you#sorry i'm just. tired and this was. kind of upsetting#whining wombat
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"So Blaine, how's your day going? Must be excited to start moving!"
*if I stop stimming I will actually have a break down*
*has been on the verge of tears for the last hour*
*speech has gone completely out the window*
*stress stress stress*
*Everything Feels And Sounds Badโข*
*touch me and perish*
Oh yeah, totally, I'm doing great ๐ซ
#insert that 'will somebody please just make it make it stop' audio here#finishing packing is no worse than cleaning my bedroom except for one huge difference: change comes after#change is hard for me#just because i go through changes a lot doesn't mean my brain likes it#and apparently when my brain doesn't like something i get to physically suffer ๐ซ #it doesn't help that i have to deal with the emotions of also packing my moms stuff#this is my first big change without her and I Hate It#personal#overwhelmed#stressed#i am very tired#i just have to make it through this week and i'll be fine i can do this#but dear God i don't want to
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the fact i can stay up for over 24 hrs while already running on less than 10 hrs of sleep before that and still have yet to be a normal about of tired is both surprising and FUCKING ANNOYING
#god someone sedate me#like i dont wanna go to sleep bc i dont feel tired and i cant begin to go to sleep unless i feel tired otherwise i wont sleep as fast#my eyes feel heavy but not in a sleepy way idk. i can feel my brain detereorating as we speak BUT I CANT BRING MYSELF TO FUCKING SLEEP#if i get temporary insomnia because of fKN JAYVIK??? idk what i'll do but i will be shocked either way#which yes thats part of the reason ive been staying up all week its to browse the jayvik tag n lose track of time#but also i tried to go to sleep yesterday bc i was tired and i woke up like 4 hours later and couldnt sleep again so thats annoying#even when i try i cant do it HAHA but yeah i think ive been awake for over 24hrs which makes abt <10hrs combined for like 3 days#also ive saw some shadows move so thats how that is going rn HAHA#so im doing great and my mental health is at an all time high๐ซ ๐๐ป#i'll take a melatonin gummy and see how that works out i guess. at least i dont work tomorrow lmao (or i guess today now technically)
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๐ซ
#I'm tired of being anxious all the time.... even with my adhd medication which is supposed to help with the anxiety nothing actually changes#it just becomes beyond the anxiety itself the nausea and headaches and body ache that comes alongside the constant brain burn#oh and the neck pain and stiffness. i know its not caused by anything except the stupid anxiety cuz i already exercise regularly#literally nothing much helps with anything these days#being busy 24/7. exercising. eating good. medication#nothing#and I'm exhausted ๐ซ ๐ซ ๐ซ
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do i need help and comfort? yes
do i desperately want to gouge my eyes out when i receive it? also very much yes
#did i not sleep a wink crying? yup#did i break down at work and start sobbing in front of the strictest senior doc after he yelled at me? my WORST NIGHTMARE in residency? yup#was everyone actually really nice about it which made me feel WORSE? yes#senior doc sat me down and talked about setting boundaries and helped me a lot even if hes not my supervisor#the nurses who i snapped at and felt horrible were so understanding one nurse just chatted w me over an hour bout games n stuff to cheer up#my work wife stayed w me until 11pm! at my night shift and helped me so much and supported me#i appreciate it all to hell and back but boy getting help feels like shit ๐ญ i feel like im being babied#or worse i feel like im being pitied#and worst is i still feel like crap and tired and all cry-ish. my brains dumb as shit#vent tw#delete later#idk i need time off but cant have any ๐ซ #everyone said i should call in sick after my next shift#maybe i should orz#burrito talks
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@icthyarch im sorry I've had a migraine for six straight weeks and also this weekend has involved just So Many Big Feelings (???) and now tomorrow i get to tag along for the first time to my bf's parents house for Family Dinner, dad birthday edition. i dont know any of these people and have zero (0) scripts for Normal Family Interactions. its been a lot and therapy isnt until friday so im making it everyone's problem instead ๐ซ ๐ซ
#mochi rambles#icthyarch#ilu#im doing fine promise just deeply introspective today#too tired with a brain full of bees#but also too loved and full of love to not#idk#screm and be angery#god im a mess lmao#n e wai thats why my tags and ig stories have been like this ๐ซ ๐ซ #mochi you useless lesbian
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the urge to revamp my aesthetic vs the blood boiling rage i feel using photoshop
#;; ooc.#;; tbd.#and my brain goes ๐ซ when i even TRY looking at html fr it's a struggle#im also heckin tired my dudes who needs sleep these days anyway#anyway enough whinging im gonna try to be on today ๐๐ (threat)
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the good news is i feel like i finally got enough sleep after who knows how long. the bad news is it's 4 pm and i need to wake up relatively early tomorrow and have a p long and taxing day. wish me luck falling asleep tonight ๐ญ
#tonight. tomorrow. idk#i'll use my sleeping pills but even they have their limits i doubt they'll help me fall asleep at 2 am when i likely won't even be tired yet#ugh. i wanna say i can function on 4 hours of sleep but i don't recall doing that since i stopped drinking caffeine ๐ซ #๐ gotta decide between having a working brain or having a working stomach. but that's a problem for tomorrow me#. forgive me for anxiety posting on main so early. i have anxiety ๐ซก
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I'm the worst I'm sorry I already know ๐
#ive been BUSY okay#when i said yes to working full time i didnโt mean FULL TIME#im alwsys way too tired after work for my brain to put words together#anwhooo#my hope is to finish this smau by August 19 because im moving to Korea for a year so i might be a bit busy ๐ซ
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